Do you know this happy human? His name is Jon Batiste. He is a musical genius, and a bundle of “love energy.” I watch him and think, “I’ll have whatever he’s having.” American Symphony is a documentary on his life. It is an exhibition of his journey, navigating fame, talent, anxiety– all while he loves and supports his partner, Suleika Jaouad, a beautiful acclaimed writer and artist, managing cancer. I was blessed to see him perform last fall. The concert felt like a gift, from Jon to us! Those of us present gratefully took a break from the divisiveness of the news and collectively celebrated the gift of love that makes us all alive.
Curious About Love
Google’s definition of love feels lame to me. Feel free to “search it up.” Some Christians interpret love according to 1 Corinthians 13 in the Bible, and I appreciate that interpretation of love. Some believe God is Love. I will be vulnerable and share here that love is the reason that I still believe in God. I don’t always see love demonstrated by people who claim to be Christian, but I have already complained about that in my “Dear Church” posts. So, I won’t belabor it here. 🙂 You’re welcome.
Love feels all encompassing to me, like a life flow, that I get to enjoy. I believe love is the essence of life. I think it may be primary and fundamental to all the other feelings. For example, if there was no love, would we have a reason to hope? Would there be sadness over loss or anger over injustice if we did not love? I believe love fills life with meaning and purpose.
Love fuels me to help a friend in need, open a door for an elderly woman, or support a non-profit that we believe in. Love gives me motivation to have patience and understanding with others; it gives me joy and passion to fight for a bright future, even when the news feels so bleak; and it drives me to care for myself, so I can experience a love filled life, for as long as possible. Love keeps me awake and present to opportunities every day.
When Love is Lost
Sometimes stress sucks capacity for love. I feel numb, because life feels overwhelming. I turn into a robot, moving through the moments, surviving without feeling.
Other times loving feels so painful. A loved one hurts me, and it feels easier to build a wall of anger to avoid the sting of hurt. I lose the essence of me as I wring my heart free of every last drop of the love that fuels the hard feelings.
At other times giving too freely sucks love from me. I have trusted naively, without the balance of reciprocation. This is not real love, but a greed for it–I also call it “people pleasing.” This ultimately dilutes the joy of generosity, when I give beyond my desire. I betray myself to play a role others want, instead of being comfortable being myself, loving in the ways I am uniquely able.
In whatever ways we lose love, don’t we consequently lose part of ourselves? And each time a person separates themselves from love, because of burnout, loss, or hurt, doesn’t the world pay a dear cost, that it cannot afford? I love the people in our world, and I am afraid that we are losing our love. The essence and flow that keep us alive and connected is draining away.
Healing is Imperative
If you know me, you know I celebrate feelings. When we feel, it is evident that love is in us, even if the feelings are hard. For example, sadness reminds us that whatever was lost was worth loving. Fear is rooted in concern of losing something we love. And so on. When these feelings are avoided, we become callous toward love. Or perhaps we engage in coping skills that end up separating ourselves from love. But humans were designed for love, and there is always hope. Love is always there, ready to regenerate and be better than before, if we keep ourselves unlocked to it.
Love is relational. It is birthed and lost and healed through relationship. I have experienced this in sometimes surprising ways– like even discovering how to love a relationship with myself or finding healing through connection with a skilled therapist. If I am open to love and all it brings, I remain alive and hopeful. If I feel numb or defeated, I may need reminders that love is still possible and available, when I have courage to heal and remain open. Imagine a world full of people who are open to love: they have reasons to hope and plan for a positive future; they find passion to fight for those who cannot fight for themselves; they experience joy through connection; and they can find meaning in the mundane. I need to create space for love to revitalize. I will adapt to new routines after disappointment, and consider options outside my control. I will make mistakes and learn that sometimes I have not been wise with love. I can learn how to love myself and others, with healthy boundaries.
Follow the Lovers
I started this post with Jon Batiste. He is someone who I have watched and learned from, because he models what it looks like to remain open to love. I observe some additional favorite celebrities and leaders who remain authentic, vulnerable, generous– open to giving and receiving love, even in spite of really challenging hurdles. They inspire us. Mr. Rogers used to say, “Watch the helpers.” I humbly add, “Watch the lovers.” He certainly was a lover too.
I want to be more full of love in 2026. I will create space to remain awake and present to the opportunities that love brings. When love feels distant, and I am tempted to separate from love, I will work hard to pursue the courage to remain open. Let’s help each other! Love to all of you in 2026!